Geeks shall inherit earth; and Goons shall inherit Nepal !!!

They said: Geeks shall inherit the earth. Yours truly agreed to it, of course since it was said by the geeks themselves. But being a quintessential Nepali, he has now decided to add a condition, post agreement and sans shame (of course).

If geeks shall inherit earth; Goons shall inherit Nepal.

Before explaining, or rather defending his stance, yours truly would like to go in a flashback mode. Eventually, he made a trip to the cricket match again (quite a trip through the capital alleys… oops, roads, especially during the ‘rush hour’, where the only part missing is rush).  On a bright sunny day, Nepal played Malaysia, for what eventually would be its first title in the Under-17 category.

Now, yours truly is a blessed person. Eternally so… For he gets to sit in the press box. Now, the press box is a suggestive term, meaning what it should be (that is all the media people packed in a shoebox), and not what it actually is. Apart from various kinds of people, from almost all genres of life (except work), the press people (commonly known as journalists) also sit in this open box. The press people, for most part, account for half the noise in the stadium, which seats some 10,000 people (give or take a couple of thousand).

As Nepali bowlers were trying to restrict the Malaysian batsmen, the pressmen’s talks could not be restricted. Here, yours truly would also like to apologize for using politically incorrect (but sometimes morally correct) term. The sports journalists, apart from men of all shapes, sizes and moods (mostly queer), also includes the female life forms these days. While some refer to them as beautiful play things, yours truly, in the best politically correct manner possible to him, would say that quite a number of exquisite young beings (invisibly blonde) are also a part of the genre called sports journalism.

Now, we’re in an age where freedom of expression reigns supreme. So the sports journalists here are not restricted to the game, in fact they hardly seem interested in it – or maybe they’re faking it to the passers-by, so as not to let them know how intelligent they actually are. In fact, in his two recent days in press box, yours truly hardly had a moment where these intellectual beings would talk about cricket, apart from his personal favorite – who he likes to term as pseudojournalist, just because pseudo is his favorite word and also because this person acted more like half coach, half player, half journalist, half out-of-asylum nut and half human being, apparently with many halves not present at the same time. Now this person was genius. He exactly knew where the fielders should be kept, which ball was to be bowled, which shot to be played, what kind of dive a fielder had to take – only that everything would come in after the ball had completed its movement. I hope the players never hear him talk in press box, for they might pull him out of press box and install him as a coach (with horses pulling the coach, of course).

Now, yours truly is stumped as to why the number of sports journalists is increasing. Perhaps the cricket lunch is a bigger reason than the interest in cricket. Alas, it’s also probably the same with the audience, otherwise how do we explain what we saw at the end of the match. Almost everyone, with exception of a few sane heads, entered the ground. Poor young players could hardly blink before they were covered. The unruly crowd made yours truly think:

If geeks shall inherit earth; Goons shall inherit Nepal.

For if the gentleman’s game is robbed of its serenity by the crowd behavior – which steals the winning bat of Nepali batsman and throws missiles, almost injuring the players he supposedly supports – well Goons shall definitely inherit Nepal. If they don’t inherit, they’ll make sure they grab it.

The enlightenment came to yours truly much after, as a nation, we developed a sense what goon-ism is, and all the benefits associated with it. Traffic, industries, workplaces, government offices, and of course on lonely alleys; you name it, these super species have already inherited it. The latest update on this is, that the threatening someone and punching them, and being nice enough to show anyone gun, and ask for extended co-operation, especially in kind (can’t call it extortion anymore) – jewellery, cash, any valuables will do – has become the most preferred way of social interaction on the day.

As far as the cricket match is concerned, Nepal won with ease. And yours truly feels, the man of the match, and the tournament, should have gone to Cricket Association officials, who have had years of experience seeing this, but did not want to miss the cheap thrill as thousands of people swarmed the players as locusts. Well, is there anyone still alive who wants to know how much the pitch suffered, and along with it, the spirit of cricket?

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Intelligence @ speed of Light... or faster???

It is sometimes surprising to see how quickly the intelligence travels. It is exciting, even intoxicating at times, when intelligence travels to and through the youngsters (compared to the older politicians we have, who are either incompetent or corrupt and sometimes both on the same day).

Yours truly was on the cricket ground to witness Nepal’s teenagers –this time, they say their age is actually Under-17 and not ‘thereabouts’, missing the mark by a small matter of 3-4 years – take on the mighty UAE (mighty might sometimes refer to the petro power too, not only the skills with red cherry and willowy staff) in the semi-final of what they term as the Elite Cup (the word ‘elite’ being the key, perhaps referring to so few teams participating and some pulling out).

And yours truly was glad, and sometimes elated, and sometimes both – not knowing which should have been preferred over other – so see the boys making huddle amidst the green to celebrate success. Give them a wicket – which sometimes rich kids from UAE resorted to – and they’d huddle to celebrate, enjoying and congratulating each others’ success. And the intelligence being spread is exactly that. An example of knowledge spreading through the idiot box... That too, at a time, when we complain that kids these days only learn how to swear through cricket on TV, while the international men in whites (these days, more in colours than the white flannel), indulge in the most dominant form of social interaction during the match – sledging the opponent and thereby improving upon already rich vocabulary of us Nepali nationals.

Not very long ago, yours truly was in his teens (well, give or take a few decades), and used to be involved with cricket (standing in the middle, raising his finger once in a while to point towards the rest room, while the people around yours truly used to jump in joy, and the helmet armed man with plasters around his legs and willow in hand walked away in disgust – sometimes saying the words yours truly could not comprehend, except that those generally started with the letter ‘F’). Those were the days, when celebrations were rare among teammates, except a glare or two shared with those on the opposing sides, apart from a few words expressed in appreciation of their efforts (wonder why they were said in a tone which had striking resemblance to the dialogues of Dharmendra, the actor, swearing at diminutive villains in those hindi cinemas).

Cut back to present: The scene at a cricket ground, which had been a regular pastime for yours truly once, was invigorating at its best. The intelligence, as said already, spreads fast, maybe at the speed of light, or maybe at the speed the television screen flickers. The best confirmation of the intelligence spread was the point, when Avinash Karn was bowling for his hat-trick, having taken two in previous two deliveries. With the crowd raising hell with noise reaching the crescendo, just before the delivery, Nepali close in fielders surrounded the hapless UAE batsman, just to earn the hat-trick for their bowler. The scene reminded yours truly of those great Test matches, where the tailenders were thrown bouncers, while the tall fieldsmen around him ready to gulp down a lollypop of a catch. Intelligence spreads fast – the point taken. The wicketkeeper in Akash Pariyar, and captain Prithu Baskota were evidently giving the television audience, if there were any, a show of how to marshal their resources and create pressure on the batsmen. A good example of how quickly lessons can be learnt, even by watching. There were flaws, failures in ground fielding, dropped catches, clueless bowling at times, but the unit looked well-oiled, throwing away the negativity. Where else, can they be learnt? By watching TV? Maybe, but only if you’re a keen watcher.

Post match, yours truly had a small chat with the eternal coach of the Nepali side, Roy Dias. As yours truly asked, “Disappointed with the team’s fielding?”

He retorted, “Yep, also the batting.” It’s impossible to please everyone…

Should it be mentioned that UAE opener, R. Abraham nearly won the match single handedly with 59 runs, and mostly during his stay threatening to take away the match from the home team. That, after Nepal had teetered to 144 – which was defendable eventually – in the semi-final.

Disclaimer: The picture has been stolen from a news portal that is being managed by a friend of yours truly... Having friends at right places truly works...

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Buddha's birth, ain't he ours!!!

Believe it or not, yours truly, is, finally, coming out of hibernation. While some of you may feel that yours truly is considering being exported (after all, we are a nation of hibernation), the fact remains that the only alternative left for yours truly is being ‘im-ported’.

Not much water has flowed in Bagmati (not that much water is left there, anyways), since the all powerful ministerial cabinet of the former kingdom decided to do what no government has done ever before. That is, to ban a movie, namely ‘Chandni Chowk to China’ (See, we don’t have a censor board which functions). And that left yours truly, as your thought agent in times of thoughtlessness, wondering. It’s like going through déjà vu again, (imagine that).  And according to what was available on the newsprint (and some soundbites on the broadcast), yours truly is seemingly forming an opinion.

Well, amazingly, and alarmingly too, it’s about Buddha. Anyone living in this generation can be pretty sure that the ‘Light of Asia’ is fortunate not to live in the present age. Yours truly can bet few possessions that he has, on ‘the enlightened one’ would have committed suicide, seeing the fracas his name brings about in the 21^st century, which, of course, is not different that 20^th century (only that we expected it to be something else). Could there be a better way to celebrate his birth on this side of the border? Of course, not. If we could make his idols, despite him being against idol worship, of course we can go a step beyond, burning tyres and threatening someone, who probably are trying to ‘snatch’ away the ‘enlightened one’ from us. Violence, thou art here to stay (Whatever he preached 25 centuries ago)…

 If yours truly has his senses right, and the déjà vu he had is not misplaced, there was similar – albeit bigger on the streets – incident seen a few years ago, when one of the newspapers (pretty popular at that) had a news report where some ‘expert’ had claimed that the ‘Light of Asia’ was born across the border (despite our claims otherwise).

The news report was welcomed by other media and some goons with raised arms and a lot of gasoline used to set a few copies of the newspapers on the streets. And as the newspapers burned, so did the spirit of peace, so did the freedom of expression, so did the tolerance he died preaching, and so did the concept of ‘brotherhood’ among all living beings.

The only thought that baffles yours truly is: Is Buddha a property? Or do we not want to keep him under the wraps? For, yours truly always believed, Buddha is a thought; a prophecy; a charisma that this world needed during his times and more so, during the present age, where gloom has encircled the world. We probably needed to share his prophecy more to the world than ever before, especially when we are waking up after a ‘hibernation’ of thousands of deaths and disappearances.

The other questions that have started baffling yours truly are: Can we not claim that Jesus Christ as ours, just because what he preached has some value? For that can we not stake claim to Gandhi’s wisdom and non-violent ways, just because he lived across the border. Are we limiting the thought to the national boundaries, which were created by those who wanted power vested on themselves?

Going through the history books – and reading between the lines – tell us, national boundaries have always been a matter of pride for those, who used violence for their benefit, and always been changing. Amazing, we have much faith on the ways of violence, than peace, especially in the times of shrinking borders (as we use the cliché – the world is a global village). Borders were meant to be mental blocks, by the power wielders, to antagonize people at large, against the same species that lived across.

However, going by the prophecy that governs most of us, there are a few ways how we can deal with movies like these, which apparently ‘claim’ that the ‘enlightened one’ was born, not in this side of the border (of course, we conveniently can forget that it was not a government ‘claiming’ anything close to such). Some of the ways could be:

• Issue a birth certificate to the Buddha ‘posthumously’. The come-raid government can order ‘Prasuti Griha’ to issue him a birth certificate.
  
• Tell our ambassadors to hold press conferences in the counties they are (and want to remain there forever), criticizing the ‘friends’ across the borders, do not have a right to claim of Buddha’s birth.
  
• Declare the producers and more importantly, Akshay Kumar, the main protagonist of the movie, as terrorists, for trying to wrongly claim our ‘property’.
  
• Produce movies, where we claim ‘Mahavir’, ‘Sai Baba’, ‘Gandhi’ et al, were born this side of the border (we can tell ‘Prasuti Griha’ to do the needful of issuing birth certificates).
  

There could possibly be more ways to say, Buddha is ours. Anything involving violence to claim that the ‘non-violent’ one was ours, should be welcome. Wot say?

Or else, we could just follow his principles of peace and non-violence to prove we are his worthy  children. But yours truly is pretty sure, we don’t have many takers for that.

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Screwing in a light bulb

Yours truly got it in a mail. Hopes you would like it too…

How many Maoists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1) The light bulb cannot be changed — it has to be smashed.

 2) Forget the light bulb, talk of screwing a country.

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Hats off Mr. Krugman

Yours truly had heard of a joke some years back, which goes:

Q – Why did God create Economists?

A – To make weathermen look good.

Of course, forecasts were the key to understand the joke.

But having known about Paul Krugman winning the Nobel for Economics, it was imperative that yours truly would google him. And salute him all the way, for his analysis of trade patterns and where economic activity takes place.

Some people just have it, they possess it and they know how to deliver it. They can spot a paintbrush and do a da Vinci out of it, while people like us, would not imagine beyond whitewashing the backyard with it.

Kudos to Krugman, for he has a sense of satire too (something this weblog tries to achieve)…  

Not because he can analyze trade patterns, but he can spot what has to be spotted. For they know they can visit the past, to learn something that should be averted in future. Yours truly found this post by Krugman, and would like to share it…

Please have a look at how he looks at the present global crisis, through something that happened in 1979. It's just not economics, it's the way you see things, and try to make a difference.

Paul Krugman writes:

In the long run we are all dead

But in the short run some of us can’t get buried because of the credit crunch:

The spectre of the Winter of Discontent threatened to return to haunt Labour last night after funeral directors revealed that the burial of ‘hundreds’ of bodies is being delayed for financial reasons.

In a bleak new sign of the growing economic crisis, hard-up families are having to wait more than two months before receiving Government money for funerals.

Organisations representing undertakers accused the Government of putting them in an ‘impossible’ position by dragging their feet over burial costs for poor families.

Previously, undertakers would pay for the cost of funerals and wait to be reimbursed by the State, but the lack of credit in the banking system means many firms can no longer afford to do so.

HT my wife, who lived in England for a while and still enjoys reading the tabloids.

Thank you Mr. Krugman, for making the weathermen still look bad…

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Dashain in Secular Nepal !

Yours truly is amazed. In the midst of animal sacrifices, and recent backdrop of a riot, that ensued when the capital dwellers refused government saying – No free meat, fellas! – somebody reminded him that Nepal was secular. Goodness me, how come? Did we not take pride just a few years ago for being the only Hindu state in the world (mention of Kingdom is not hip these days)?

But it was forced on yours truly that we indeed are in a secular state and from a Hindu Kingdom we became a Himalayan Federal Democratic Republic (you can add People's, if you wish to). And just like so many others in the nation, yours truly had to give in, accepting what was already accepted by those considered lesser humans (no wonder, Nepalis have always been called nimukha janata).

Then began the search of the meaning of secularism.

The term 'secularism' was first used by the British writer George Holyoake in 1846. Holyoake invented the term to describe his views of promoting a social order separate from religion, without actively dismissing or criticizing religious belief. Later, it grew into meaning that people belonging to different faiths and sections of society are equal before the law, the Constitution and government policy.

We became a secular nation, due to certain parties' pressure and of course without even taking the trouble of asking people for their view. For us, it is okay if so many countries remain Muslim and some remain Jewish state. In their defence, we would always say that people of other faith also live in such and such countries, without problems.

Alas! As if people of other faith had difficulty to survive here, just because they had other faiths, which the state did not endorse.

And then came Dashain, the mother of all festivals in our country, in our secular state. And we relished, in animal sacrifice, in gambling, in guzzling the holy potion, remaining intoxicated yet again. It's amazing how the entire national wisdom goes to sleep for a fortnight every year. Maybe even wisdom goes out boozing. For we, more often than not, take in Dashain as a time 'not to think' but 'drink'. (Not so long ago, this was the time of year, when now deposed monarch imposed crown on his infamous son, making him crown prince)

But this time around, the monarch had already been given a ticket to bungalow in a jungle, and his prince took time out for Singapore. What about Dashain? Dashain would come the way it has done, for centuries. For festivals and seasons do not care who is in power; but maybe festivals do. So it was time that we found a monarch. Otherwise, who would offer tika to people? And in our efforts to find a monarch, we did hit the right button (at least we hit the buttons).

Even in a country where the Prime Minister – given his people oriented orientation – swears by the people, and not god, while taking oath of the office, it was not difficult to find someone gullible.

How could we forget that we had a President? A President that was a product of 'coalitional' compromise; A President who has a clean image (at least cleaner than the rest); A President who would not say no to avoid confrontation; A President, who was not elected by popular vote, but was adopted by the nation without much complain; A President who has a genuine smile; A President who is a genuine people's person.

So the new Head of the State offered tika to everyone interested. And the people attended, right from the Chief Justice to the public (who wanted to have a glimpse of People's son as head of the state) to the Home Minister, who was more worried about cameras not being at his residence. Reminded yours truly of the glory days of the monarch, who would do the same, calm and collected, without talking too much with the people…

At the same time, the deposed monarch was also busy, offering tika to his loyalists, at a private function, at his private residence (and not the one provided by the government), celebrating Bijaya Dashami, the victory of good over evil. Only, the crowd at his celebrations was bigger.

Some say Dashain is cultural and not religious now. Agreed, but yours truly always thought Jamara and tika have religious significance too. Some say the Head of the State was carrying out a cultural tradition (though TVs showed him saying he was carrying out constitutional duties). Agreed, but yours truly always thought the King offered tika because he was considered reincarnation of a Hindu deity.

Philip Pullman, English writer and staunch secularist wrote:

“Religion grants its adherents malign, intoxicating and morally corrosive sensations. Destroying intellectual freedom is always evil, but only religion makes doing evil feel quite so good”.

But they said Nepal is a secular state!!!

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A Royal Pain

Francis Joseph Charles I, Austrian monarch in early 20^th century, said just after ascending the throne," What should I do? I think the best thing is to order a new stamp to be made with my face on it."

To yours truly, this explains what the Royals are. For whom, the most important thing is, of course, themselves. And history proves yours truly right, more often than not. One thing is for sure, the monarchy - world over - was never busy thinking about people. For the Royal bunch, it was always, I, me and myself…

And the people… err... the subjects suffered.

But things have changed, or so, you would hear.

We now have a republican structure, with a President heading the nation (who, like the King, graces festivals, and is felicitated just like his predecessor head of the state, used to… Has he started giving autograph too?).

Officially, the former Royals have been reduced to a civilian status, with the rights only civilians can have (give or take a few luxury vehicles and some escorts).

And the people… err… the subjects still suffer.

The issue in question is the 32^nd birthday of the former Princess. Though never considered very Royal by the people, err, subjects, one can't forget that she was 'the next queen'.

She decided to visit a few places, including temples and an old age home near the best loved temple of the Royals (remember the adage 'Pashupatinath le hami sabai ko raksha garun'?). Yours truly is impressed with the gesture shown by the former Princess, to visit a home for the elderly, on her birthday coinciding with the International Day of the Senior Citizens. Impressive stuff…

The issue does not end there. With the former Princess on her way to the Home, paparazzi was sure to follow – a chance to actually get some sound bites, and a picture sans her former Royal husband would be too tempting to forego for the Press.

Press - just like other people - do await, with morbid anticipation, the fall of people, loving every second of it, and the reaction of the person who has fallen. Perhaps we love to see signs of vulnerability in people we once worshipped, made them demigods.

And top of the paparazzi list was Kantipur TV, who spotted the car she was travelling. Kantipur, in its bid to prove that we are no less paparazzi than the rest, had to do something special.

And a special audio visual package was prepared, showcasing the princess', dressed in her most gracious smile, visiting temples and giving away edibles to the elderly, who have been forgotten even by their own family.

Picture perfect, except that there was a minor glitch. The package was aired too. Just that to air it, the program showcasing it was prolonged, killing time of a news bulletin, that yours truly had to appear on. Somebody, who shall here be nameless, and who shall - for his actions should remain jobless - decided that the 11-minute audio visual package was to be shown, even if meant extending the current affairs program by adding bhajans in it. And yours truly, along with the premium air time, was held hostage in the unplanned conspiracy.

 It takes a genius to think the unthinkable but it takes something more to do the un-do-able. And here we surpassed even that. Can you imagine yours truly actually appearing on a news bulletin without a single commercial break (an average Kantipur News break is 5-7 minutes). History was made.

Yours truly was left gasping for breath, while his producer was trying to learn the new tricks of the trade, new rules of the game. We blamed the Royals for all that went wrong, all the while doing the same things that we despised them for. Taking people for granted is just one of those.

And you are left thinking, Who is the King? The mortal who has been cornered, or the immortal ego within us, which loves every chance to resurface.

Yours truly once read these lines, by Lord Byron:

The heart ran o'er
With silent worship of the great of old, -
The dead but sceptred sovereigns, who still rule
Our spirits from their urns.

Guess, it still holds good in modern times.

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The actual reason behind Dance Bars closing?

The closing down of dance bars just when the night is still young for so many Kathmandu dwellers, the busy bees during the day, has made a lot of people go crazy. While many blame it on the Home Minister's love for ultra communistic ethics, some say it will clean Nepal (Maybe, just the way Plague cleaned Europe during 14^th century) and the Nepali habits of extra indulgence in what they term as vulgar activities.

At the same time, many people, including yours truly, have started wondering why. The reasons could be many. Right from simple lunacy to hatred for the so-called nudity to the realization that Nepali culture is going topsy turvy have been cited as the reasons for what has now been heralded as the boldest, if not stupidest, move in a democratic country.

But the recent reason that yours truly heard, the reason why our unelected Home Minister – who also happens to wear the hat of Prime Minister when 'the fierce one' is out of station (meaning, most of the times) – could have done probably the undoable, is what transpired between a few friends (involving the scribe too), at a chiya-guff (translated in English means 'the intellectual discussion'). Plausible reason?? You are the judge…

The excerpts of the story:

It so happened that our Home Minister, whose name translates to mean communist god in English, went to a dance bar on an evening, just to enjoy the music (and along with it, the scene), after hectic day at work (you know he gets busy wearing too many hats during the day).

After drinking a beer – apparently the beer was brewed from the grains in Nepal, removing any doubts of foreign imperialistic influence – he faced the music. It so happened that the bar-wallah produced a bill. Smarting the humiliation of actually being faced with the bill, he was left aghast by the fact that the bar-wallah had charged him of three beers and some glasses of wine, that he failed to offer the girls taking orders from him (regular stuff that the dance bar-wallahs do to customers, considering they are too intoxicated to know the difference).

Not expecting the unexpected, the Minister was furious, and a fight ensued between his Youth-ful Force and the bar bouncers, who claimed to be from the rival YCL (pronounced Why-See… Yell). And eventually, being from the junior partner in the ruling coalition, his team was left in tatters. The minister was not only forced to pay, but also was blacklisted at the bar, for talking politics during the show, disturbing the air-clad dancers.

It is then that the Minister swore, on his past ability to topple the party leadership, that the bar-wallahs would have to pay for it.

And now, the bar-wallahs are crying foul. At the same time, the Kathmandu people, who believe in 'Night is still young' adage, and the Police, who made the dancers sing to their tunes, are paying for it.

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A right to dream!!!

It's only natural for us mortals to ask questions to those, who we consider knowledgeable. And it's natural for us, to show our mortality by putting the same ones on pedestal, whether they deserve it or not (mostly not). I, mere mortal, had to show my ignorance by asking questions. And what better occasion than to ask a question to a fellow journalist – who happens to be an economic reporter (not talking about his thriftiness while going to the canteen) – than just after the budget was announced?

I asked him, half hoping that his enthusiasm of the day when Comrade 'Red Flag' announced the first budget since giving up on the jungle life, "So, what do you think about the budget?" In fact, I wanted him to throw some economic jargons at me, which he would do on any given day, like most of our economists – who are as far away from people as a tiger would be from 'a guide to healthy vegetarian diet'. I was even prepared to provide a fake nod, from my part, just to appreciate his knowledge and hide my ignorance (again being a mere mortal).

My fellow journalist said, "Everyone has a right to dream." A shocker!!!

And I was expecting him to give me a lecture on what a budget is, or how probably the budget should have been. In my mind, with that one line, he reached immortality, when his puckered his lips to dart those words out, while I concentrated on his teeth, which can be any rodent's pride. I don't know, if my fellow colleague, or the one who sometimes also refers me as a friend (when he needs me to do stuffs for him), was in the best of his mood or really was feeling bad for no tax cuts to economic journalists. But he'd said something that no one had told me about the government's financial estimates.

Of course, I knew, right from my childhood that everyone had a right to dream. That was the premise on which my support for republican set up was based. As I used to boast, 'The best thing about a republican set up is that it gives every child a right to dream to become the head of the state.' Thank god, I never met the then dream inspectors, during the era that did not support such thoughts, who would have hauled me into some cell in 'Hanumandhoka Khor'.

Wisdom at childhood is often swept by reality in the semi-adulthood (the time more famous for other finer and interesting things in life). And I had realized that too, forgetting that there are dreams, and a right to dream. Alas! Our constitution makers probably would never add that right as a funda-mental right.

A dream… don't know if the Finance Minister ever thought it that way… don't know if I could've seen it as a dream that way… don't know if we as a nation thought that way… don't know if I've stopped dreaming… or else, don't even know if this lack of dream itself is a dream.

That reminds me what Arthur Miller wrote in Death of A Salesman, "A salesman has got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory."

And maybe, it's time it comes with the territory to Finance Minister… or maybe it's time it comes with the territory to the journalists… and maybe it's time it comes to me 'with the territory'.

Amen!!!

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Kantipur Dekhi Bahundanda Samma

• By Nabin Khatiwada
  

I finished reading 'Microsoft Dekhi Bahundanda Samma' last week. It is Nepali translation of John Wood's 'Leaving Microsoft to Change the World ' (just the anti-thesis of closing schools and burning tires to change the world).

My friend Bisnu offered me a program to go to Bahundanda (what an irony, it has large Gurung population). I agreed immediately to go.

I told it to Somesh. He offered (offers after offers) me to write about the tour in his blog and gave the title 'Kantipur Dekhi Bahundanda Samma' but asked to write a satire.

Satire! My heavy body on the hilly trek was itself a satire for me (probably not for others).

Satire! Our political leadership have been satire on us till date (of course, because we made them the leaders). In this mess around us, everything is a satire and I just don't know why he is forcing me to write satire. Just Mix the headlines of daily Papers, they will create a good satire.

Koshi broke its embankment and swallowed 3 villages of Sunsari, Prime minister was on official visit to China.

Deputy Commander of then militants is appointed Peace Minister (heard of Nepali proverb 'chor ka hat ma tala chabi').

But, this is about my tour.

While leaving Kathmandu in a reserved Microbus, I asked our driver 'are you sure there is no road blocked on our route?' He just laughed and we moved ahead.

We were lucky enough there were no blocks until we reached Besisahar. But, People in this small town were busy celebrating Teej festival, not in their houses or open ground but on the road. Yes, you got it right… ON THE ROAD…

Roads are the place we Nepalis use to celebrate and protest everything (unique culture??). Nepal Tourism Board should promote this and we should invite tourists to witness this cultural uniqueness. Let's not be negative about it, let's not complain about road blocked, let's think big and start selling this. All the Gurus of this culture are in power positions now and surely they'll approve this plan as NTB pushes for it.

There were many tourists in Lamjung, when we reached. They were trekking in Annapurna circuit. They were enjoying falls near Bhulbhule (probably best one for adventure sports of Canoeing). But, who'll sell it? And, why to sell it at all? The poor people around there (mostly Gurungs) might benefit from it if it is developed properly. But, power centers have already given them the slogan of federalism and Jatiyata (sounds so much like Jaya Lalita). Why give more?

We were moving forward in the opposite direction of Marshyangdi River. The trekking route was swallowed by landslide in two places. Who'll manage it? If a tourist doesn't have to bear the pain of such conditions, how can we call it adventure tourism anyways? We and our leaders are building New Nepal and we are dealing with big issues. Damn to trekking routes.

Construction of Road in the opposite side of trekking route is going on. After the completion of the Road, tourist will reach Manang directly. Then, these trekking routes will lose the business. Till date government has no plan, what will the people benefitting from trekking route do after the completion of the road? Damn, we are building Twenty first century Nepal. What a planning, superb!

When we reached Bahundanda, we got people's hearty welcome. The local club named Young Star Club has created (it actually was a creation) a small football ground and was organizing football tournament. They have done a miracle in that hill. Somewhere, my heart says, 'bravo!' But I stop the thought. Political people give big talks at the opening ceremony of the tournaments. They gave long speech about the political condition of Nepal and finally uttered few sentences to help the sporting event and widening the playground.

What a political culture. Political leaders, be it local or national, can deliver speech on any subject and anywhere. They can't create anything but can use the platform others have created very well.

Poor club members, still happy and hope those leaders will help them.

And somewhere, deep within, despite the negativity that I learnt, I'm also like those young club members… still optimistic. I can not add more lines to this…

It is all reality Somesh!

Sorry, I couldn't write satire for your blog.

PS: Somesh: "Nabin, of course, is a walkie talkie satire... but since he has admitted of not being able to write one, we have decided to send him on another trip, where he can unload the political baggage, and of course, the cost will be all his... and for his ease, we have invited ourselves to be his guest..."

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